“Suryal!”

I have officially experienced three surreal events in Tokyo during the end of my first month!

Surreal Experience #1
THE REMAINS OF TUESDAY
Tokyo Tuesday brought in some “bad-ass” weather (yes, I am now also taking part-time ebonics lessons from my “American bred” Japanese officemate…gotsa ‘ta ebonify…ya shizzle my fizzle or nizzle my dizzle???!). Meaning the weather was biting cold with sporadic winds that could yank your skirt off…in my case it yanked my umbrella off! Its transparent skin literally flew off leaving a steel skeleton! In the background, school girls were shrieking because the itsy bitsy material they call a skirt tried to fly away as well. I couldn’t help myself from laughing!!!! God, it was the most hilarious and ridiculous thing ever. Anyway as it turns out I wasn’t the only victim…abandoned umbrella skeletons were littered around trash bins the next day…

Surreal Experience #2
WACKO WEDNESDAY
Deprived of an eat-and-drink-all-you-can Yakiniku excursion, I emerged exhausted into the streets below our office building (that sounded like it came out of a gritty detective novel didn’t it?). From afar, I noticed two punks “monkeying” around. It took some time to register that they were not “monkeying” around…the other was actually drunk and the sober one wanted to go home and was trying to “persuade” drunkie to want so as well. I thought I did a good job walking pass them, when drunkie decides to yank my arm from behind. I was too fast for him, quickly side-stepping kung-fu style (yeah right). But I guess my friggin’ laptop was too heavy…because the wacko magically overtakes me and grabs me. I was too shocked to shout out “BAKERO” and before I could hit him with my handbag (which ironically contained a big asahi beer can…hehehe) he drunkenly swerves out of reach. Anyway, all I could manage was an eye-roll and a nasty “Shit!”…there was a third sober friend who stood up from the sidewalk…bowed several times while apologizing (as if it was any consolation) Good thing I was too tired to be frazzled. I eventually just laughed it off!!!

Surreal Experience #3
FAIRY FRIDAY
(I do have a knack for formulating titles…don’t ya think so?)
I went to the Shinjuku-ku Ward office to process my Foreigner Registration Card. This Card makes me a legal alien…officially. As I approached the counter where the application forms were, lo and behold, a fairy was beading his way out of boredom (he was stringing some appliqués). I immediately looked around (gay-dar on full alert) and saw more fairies in the waiting room beside him. I knew right away I was in for an interesting time. I was correct. They were so friggin’ hilarious especially when they burst out into a song and dance production of…”My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard., and they’re like its better than yours, damn right its better than yours…” with matching oohs and ahhs for Kelis after their repertoire: “Don’t sshaaa jussst love Kelisssss? Ssshe’sss sssuch a whore!” This, of course, made me suddenly miss my beautiful gay friends…yes, I am a fag hag! I can’t help it, they’re just so witty and fashionable! They’re like fast moving shiny objects - you get drawn to them…